You only fix the things you feel deserve to be fixed, as if you’re a special kind of person who doesn’t deserve to sort their own life out because of who they are. Like your brokenness is a symptom of being you.
“I can let that wait, I don’t need to do this because I don’t deserve to have it done. My life is always only ever incomplete.”
And yet, no one deserves the full benefit of being you, more than you.